Life: Oceanside

Monday, September 28, 2015

Long Distance Love

This past weekend Porter, Hudson, and myself were so blessed to have the opportunity to spend the weekend with my sister. She flew down specifically to spend time with Hudson, but of course the rest of us got to enjoy her company as well.

There is nothing I love more than when my family comes to visit, being away from them has been the hardest part about moving to Florida, but we try to see each other at least every 2-3 months.
My sister, Kinsey, had not seen Hudson since our trip to Minnesota 3 months ago, he was only 2 months old and still kind of a squishy, lovable, but very little baby. I was so excited for her to see him now that he had really come in to his own and was starting to take on his this overwhelmingly adorable personality.

I never imagined that her 4 day trip would turn in to one of the best weekends I have had in a very very long time. We had so much fun together, and I loved getting to share my fun mom journeys with her, after all, she is my best friend.
I also never imagined the bond that would be formed between Hudson and Kinsey in such the short period of time they were together.
Hudson is a charmer, and he loves people, but the love he had for her was so different than anything I had seen him display before. His face LIT up when she entered the room, and he smiled at her every move. She made him belly laugh deeply, and he fell asleep safely and comfortably in her arms in seconds. It was like he had known her his whole 5 months in existence, he just straight up adored her.

As they days of her trip flew by I became more and more anxious about saying goodbye, I didn't want her to go, for so many reasons, but the main reason being I seen how much Hudson loved having her here, and I didn't want to have to take her away from him. We are so lucky to have P's family in close  quarters to us here in Florida, but having my family so far away has been hard, especially now that I am a mom. I want my family to be able to bond with him in every stage as he grows, but it's just not physically possible. However, we Skype, we face-time, we talk, we text...daily, and that will only continue on more and more as he grows. The bond that I had so badly hoped for happened before my very eyes this weekend, and it was so so beautiful.

I am so sad my sister had to leave yesterday, but I am so thankful for the time with her. I am also so thankful for long distance love. Though it's tough, it really makes us realize how lucky we are to have family, and even if they are far away how much of an impact they leave on our hearts every second of everyday. I know Hudson dreamed sweet dreams of his Auntie last night, and I cannot wait for him to see her again.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Finding My Voice

Every time I return to this blank page I have the hardest time deciding where to start, what to write, what to share.
I think over the past year I have opened up a "New Post" about 5000 times, only to write 10 words, delete. Start over.
Write 20 words, delete, and than give up.

I felt after I got pregnant that I didn't have anything exciting to share anymore.
I couldn't fit in to anything in my closet, which meant no trendy outfit posts.
I spent most everyday sleeping and vomiting during my first few weeks of pregnancy, which did not call for adorable selfies, or awesome instagram pictures of the cute pink ice cream I was about to eat (and than throw up) I felt like I wasn't in the "now" of blogging anymore, and that I had lost the excitement in my life that everyone else was sharing.

After Hudson arrived, things stayed the same when it came to the blog
My clothes didn't fit, I could barley take a shower every 24 hours,  what was I supposed to write about? What was I supposed to share about? What the heck kind of picture content was I going to share when my hair had not been washed in 10 days?

but this is where I was so so so wrong....
I missed the opportunity to share so much about becoming a mom in those months of pregnancy, and those first few months when Hudson arrived and all of the purely joyful moments I spent  learning about my baby and myself.

I felt after I became pregnant that I had lost my "voice" I was no longer the slim brunette with a love for fashion. I was a bloated, pale, girl who had no sense of body image.
However, what I didn't focus on was that  I was a young woman coming into the first steps of motherhood. I was raising a tiny human in my body and though I was loving every second, I was too concerned about what others would find interesting in my blog, rather than sharing the things I wanted to share.
I was more nervous on losing readers as I didn't have the best mall trends on display, rather than sharing the beautiful memories of this gorgeous baby boy that had entered my life.

I kept asking myself...
Who cares to see 1000x pictures of my baby? Who cares about my problems with Breastfeeding? Who cares to hear about my struggles with body image after baby?

Maybe somebody, maybe nobody.
But who cares, who cares.

This blog was started as a way for me to share my life with my family, it turned into a place for me to share my life with new friends, and along the way I received plenty of emails of encouragement, "thank yous" and messages that told me I was never alone as I was gaining readers who were going through what I went through, or felt what I felt. I was making life long relationships with women I had never met, but who would turn into best friends.

I want to teach Hudson that you don't make life choices on being scared about what people are going to say about you, or how they will treat you. You make life choices because they are important to you, and they are the path you want to follow.
Why would I step away from something that meant so much to me for so long because I was scared of people not finding me interesting anymore.
I may not be interesting to the fashion blog readers, but I may make a new friend in a mom who is just starting her journey in motherhood, or in a seasoned mom who can teach me a few pointers on the amazing life of babies.

My point in all this blabber is, that I have been away from my blog for a long time, for the wrong reasons.
I want to return to empowering others, and most importantly empowering myself.
I want to share my imperfections and my struggles in hope that they will help someone just like me who may need to read my words.
I hope to return to finding encouragement in reading other blogs of those that inspire me.

I am ready to find my voice again, it may not be as it once was, but it is still just important to have.

Monday, August 10, 2015

MMM: Target Blowouts

Happy Monday, y'all!
Mom Moment Monday, that is!

By the title, no this isn to a link to the amazing clearance deal Target has going on right now, it is headed in an entirely different direction..

I am super excited that you all are so excited to join me on this super fun day each week to share the hilarious stories, hardships, and precious moments about being a Mom. I have got some amazing responses from fellow mommas and I am so excited for them to share their stories with you!

However, today I have a very very very recent tale to share with you, like less than 24 hours ago.
Yesterday was Sunday, obviously, and it's the day in our household that we use to get ready for the week ahead. This includes cleaning, grocery shopping, meal prep, laundry, etc.
If you are a parent you will know that doing adult things is hard, but doing adult things as a parent is an entire new life experience. My Sundays used to be quiet, relaxing, and my house was spotless by 2pm which left for a lazy afternoon. These days I am lucky to get an entire load of laundry washed, dry, and put away before midnight.

We did however make our way to Target to get in our grocery shopping for the week. I personally like shopping at Target for every single need, it is like heaven on earth. (can I get an amen!)
I was super happy because Hudson was a bit crabby and ready for an afternoon nap, and I don't know about you but my baby naps the best in the car and out on outings. So I knew that a couple hour Target trip would be perfect for the whole family.
I was right!
Hudson slept from the moment we got to the store until right about when we were getting ready to check out.
Another shopping trip that went off without a hitch...or so I thought.
I feel like with parenting you should always expect the unexpected, and when things are going so right..something is bound to go wrong.
and a few seconds later on the car ride home...I heard it.

Moms, you know the sound I am talking about....the baby blowout sound.
Porter and I looked at each other and started dishing out who's turn it was to change it this time around. I looked out of both sides of Hudson's shorts and luckily it had not made it's way through, THANK GOD! I don't mind a poopy diaper, but I do mind bathing a child who is completely covered in poop, so I was thankful we were not dealing with that mess.
When we got home I took Hudson inside to take him out of his carseat and change his diaper while Porter got prepared to unload the car.
When I unbuckled Hudson from his carseat and lifted him up, there it was....
The blowout aftermath, up his entire back....


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