Life: Oceanside

Monday, May 18, 2015

Let's Get Back To It; Meet Hudson

I started this blog over 4 years ago and over those 4 years I worked very hard to make it what it was, I worked hard to build friendships and followings, and to make this not only a creative outlook but to build my dream of being a writer.
....but about 10 months ago my life started on the most fantastic journey and my blog took a backseat.
In August of last year we found out we were expecting a baby!
When this new change made it's way in to our life my creativity and my blog really took a backseat, and I have only written a few times since than.

I have shared a few things since being pregnant like the reveal of his gender, his nursery, our preparations for him, my goal to be able to stay home with him over the next few years and so on, but my big goal that I set for myself after his arrival was to come back to this blog and pick up where I left off.

So first off let me start before I re-introduce myself, that I introduce you to the handsome new addition to our family, Mr. Hudson McKinley...


 I cannot explain the feelings that have taken over me since I heard his cry for the first time and was able to hold him against me...it is pure bliss and I am so thankful for him in every way.


 Now that he is here, and I have spent the past two weeks staring in to his eyes and kissing his forehead every 30 seconds, I really want to get back in to blogging daily not only to have a place to share all the exciting memories about Hudson and document his growth, but to have a place that still gives me those amazing friendships, and the creative spot to share any feeling that crosses my brain.
Blogging isn't just a hobby, it's a therapy, it's an art, it's a place to go when you want to share your happiest moments or if you need to vent your deepest fears.

This blog has been one of my life's biggest blessings in it's own way, and it's time to come back to this missing piece of my heart.

So let me re-introduce myself, I am Hallie.
The writer here at Life:Oceanside.
Whether you are a long time reader, or a first time visitor...I am so happy you are here.





Wednesday, March 25, 2015

If I Am Anything Like Her




It's crazy to think about how fast a month goes by, when I look back to how February was already a month ago and how fast it has come and gone.
It just makes me so incredibly excited that in hopefully 4 short weeks (or less), my little man will be here.


 I've been spending a lot of quiet time with him lately. Reading to him, singing to him, praying for him, and sharing with him all of the things I am so overly excited to do with him after he arrives.
I've also been spending a lot of quiet time reflecting on the kind of mother I might be. Will I be patient enough? Will I be to over-protective? Will I have the right calming words when he is scared? Will I be able to provide him with all of the necessary knowledge to be the person I dream he will be?

It scares me to questions myself and my abilities so much because I have always been so confident in my ways, but I also know I cannot be the only new mother who questions how good of a person or mother she will be to her child.
I think this new transition just takes over your life, and it becomes a overwhelming, never ending, and such a sweet sweet, precious role that of course, anyone would be nervous for.

When I was reflecting on my way home from work today on some of these same questions I ask myself everyday, I started listening to a new lullaby album I purchased on itunes by JJ Heller called "I Dream of You"when the track "Keep You Safe" came through my speakers, it instantly reminded me of my mom, and brought me to tears. (I blame, pregnant hormones)

My mom became pregnant with me when she was 16, she was just a child herself. She didn't choose to terminate the pregnancy, nor find another woman to raise me.
She bucked up, went from a child to an adult in 9 months, and had me when she was only a few months past the age of 17.
My mother than went on to finish high school, and attend a full time nursing program. She had help from my grandparents during the day, but only while she attend her schooling. She was a student by day, and a full time mother at night. She completed that program and graduated as an LPN. She never put me second, yet she never stopped chasing her dreams.
Which is one quality I gained from her that I am forever grateful for.

My mom followed this mantra her entire life. She worked incredibly hard, but never too hard that we felt like we were not the center of her universe. She never was to busy to hold us when we needed her. She was never to tired to stay up with us in the middle of night if we couldn't sleep. She was never too busy to make our favorite meals after a long day of work. She was never cold, and she was never mean. She was kind and compassionate. She was trusting and trustworthy. She taught us to be strong willed and have a purpose in life. She taught us to never let anyone change our paths, and to always follow our hearts.
Even to this day, even though I am 24.. a midnight phone call would never go unanswered, and if I truly needed her at 1600 miles away she would be on the soonest plane to keep me safe through it all.

I know my mom endured a lot in her life, she was so young, and she had her fair share of hardships, but she never strayed from being the best mother she could be.
When I think of the mother I want to be, her face never leaves my mind. There is nothing I would change about the way my mother raised me. There is nothing I would change about the person she is, or the way she loves us. I know she is my mom, and I may be biased but she did a perfect job in so many imperfect situations.

I think that is really what parenting is all about, and even though I have not yet held my child in my hands, I  do hold him with my whole heart. There is no picture perfect parent. No mom will ever be the same, but if you love your child(ren) wholeheartedly and don't allow anything in the world to change that, than you will be the "perfect" parent.

I can't speak from experience quite yet, but I can speak from the experience of having a perfectly imperfect, generously loving mother.

I thank god for her everyday, and I think the biggest way I can show the lord my appreciation is to be half of the woman and mother that she is.

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Birth Plans & Baby Bags

Woah, posting 2 days in a row.
Someone alert the press.

First, thank you for your sweet words on yesterday's post, sometimes it's hard to put it all out there, but I've never been disappointed myself for sharing anything on this blog because the support always outweighs the anxiety.
I was so impressed with all of the well wishes and assurance from not only comments left here on the post but the emails and the facebook support that was sent our way.
Sometimes it's nice to know you are not alone in making scary decisions and I've learned that the community of women that are not only mothers, but women who do hope one day to be mothers as well can be the best friends you will ever have.

Speaking of friends, I need you ladies, and I need you now.
I am hoping this kid decides to make his entrance a little early.
a) he is going to be huge, and if he could come out two weeks early and about two pounds lighter I would be grateful
b) I have a strong feeling regardless of his size, he has an agenda to meet us early, and I personally cannot wait much longer either
 Which means I need to start prepping, like yesterday.

 I want to talk about hospital bags and birth plans.
Both have left me clueless and crazy.
Yes, I can read pinterest boards and articles all day long about what I should pack, but I don't know those women who have written that advice and I feel very disconnected from their lists and suggetions.
So I am asking for your help, my beautiful mommy blogger friends!

First off, birth plans... did you make one? did you stick to it? were you happy you did it? If you could give me ONE birth plan suggestion what would it be?

Hospital bags....what the heck do I really need? Like really? Let's pretend I'll be there for only 24 hours, what do I need to assure is in my bag to get me through that time comfortably. I over pack for everything and I can already see myself rolling a 50 pound barley airline approved bag in to my hospital suite without your assistance and guidance.

I realize that everyone is different and every one's experience and suggestions are never going to be the same, but I want you to be open and honest about your birth experience and PLEASE help me in anyway you can.
You will honestly be my bestie for the restie (yep, I went there)


completely unrelated side note:
If we are not instagram friends, let's change that.






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